USO TOUR 2009
DAY FIVE / SIX
After two nights of sleeping in a trailer in the cold ass desert, I gotta say, I’m ready to move on. Last night wasn’t so bad because we decided to just unplug the AC. It still got cold but it wasn’t freezing like the night before. When we woke up, we went through the regular routine of shower, chow at the D-FAC and then off to the airfield where we awaited our C-130 military flight. Today we took a short flight to one of the larger bases in this region. This COB (Command Operating Base) was once an old Air force base that belonged to Saddam Hussein. The US military has since taken this base over and its surrounding area as well, using it to house thousands of U.S. soldiers. Once we landed we were escorted to our new “Iraqi Cribs” where we ended up filming our new impromptu, unscripted reality show, “Iraqi Cribs”, starring Sugar Shine and Trigger Treach. That was the most hilarious moment of our week that left everyone crying with laughter and we ended up filming for 24 hours straight through the night but we’ll get back to that story later.
We were posted up in two houses that are now part of the US military base. These are fairly nice houses with iron gates and sandstone walls that were once occupied by Iraqi civilians. After our military came in and occupied this area, they converted these houses to private housing units for U.S. military personnel and special military guests. We divided up into two groups amongst the two houses. After we dropped our bags off, Sugar Shine and I filmed our first segment of “Iraqi Cribs” in our house and then we all piled onto the bus for a tour around the base. We went to the military shops to buy some patches for our jackets, some gold camels, and a few others souvenirs to remember this moment by. Today was especially intriguing because of the international history of this area. To know that Saddam Hussein and his warp-minded sons walked these same streets committing unthinkable acts of inhumanity is mind boggling and yet disturbing at the same time.
After we were done shopping for trinkets, we were quickly rushed over to a truly unique world-of-its-own amongst the base, the Special Forces unit. These are the guys with all the really cool toys in the military. Once we arrived at the Special Forces unit, we were greeted by their commanding officer and brought inside to watch a brief PowerPoint presentation about their unit and exactly what they do. In a nutshell, they blow up whatever they want; however they want, using whatever kind of weapons they want. We were invited to take a ride in one of their gigantic, fully loaded, armored vehicles with a 50 caliber cannon mounted on the roof. These vehicles are equipped with all kinds of bells and whistles inside, including next-level GPS systems, shotguns, assault rifles, hand grenades and C4 explosives amongst other treats and surprises. They’re bomb resistant, missile resistant, gun resistant and a whole lot more. They’re packed inside with all types of high-tech gadgets to allow them to track their enemies and destroy them from miles away. The Special Forces unit is, absolutely, no joke. They’re one group of seriously badass soldiers who are handpicked to join this unit because of their incredibly high test scores. These guys are an amazingly tight brotherhood within a brotherhood. The have the best of the best soldiers that the army has to offer.
After a ride around the base in these armored vehicles they took us inside their “Man Cave”. A war-chest room filled to the max with every type of video game weapon you could think of. They started laying out all their toys on the tables and floors for us to see and learn about. Everything from handguns, shotguns, machine guns and sniper rifles to grenade launchers, rocket launchers, bulletproof suits and night vision goggles. They pulled out every single toy they own, like a little kid showing off his collection to his friends. It was amazing to see and hold all these weapons and have the Special Forces unit tell us about the realities of these weapons. All in all… these weapons kick MAJOR ASS!!
While we were visiting the Special Forces unit, the major told us that his troops were extremely excited to meet us and that he even has a few soldiers that would like us to hear them rhyme. The Major, himself, said he can remember being a young soldier listening to “O.P.P.” on his walkman, back in 1992 while he was deep in conflict. He shared some stories of how those classic songs helped get him through some rough times. This major was one of the best the commanding officer we met so far. He is a real mans man, with F’in this and F’in that flying out of his F’in mouth every two seconds. He’s a straight-shootin’, no-beating-around-the-bush, tell-it-like-it-really-is, kinda guy. I like that.
After we finished takin’ pictures with some weapons that are far too big and heavy to lift, we headed back outside to take some pictures with the Special Forces soldiers and sign some autographs. The major told us that he had some soldiers who wanted to rhyme for us and when we went outside they had a speaker set up with a microphone that they were gonna use to show off they’re skills for us. Vin told the major that, if he could hook his cell phone up to the speaker, then he could play “O.P.P.” and “HipHop Hooray” and do a quick little show for the guys. The major shouted for his communications specialists to go make that happen. The communications soldier runs off into a tent and returns with all the wires he’d need. He plugs the speaker right into the headphone jack on Vin’s blackberry and next thing ya know, Treach is spitting the lyrics to “O.P.P.” and we’re rolling right into a surprise performance on the front porch of their command base. As I looked around, we had all the Special Forces guys smiling, laughing and forgetting where they were for a few minutes. The major was smiling as his entire unit chanted the words to the songs. The show lasted about 10 minutes but that memory will stay with those soldiers forever.
During our trip, there was a horrible tragedy that occurred on a military base in Fort Hood, Texas back home. Some soldiers were killed and in their honor, the Special Forces unit was flying their flag at half-mast. One of the guys in our crew, Deejay Barry Carew, is from Austin, Texas and spent some years in the military. He went through training at the base in Fort Hood and his father is a high-ranking officer in the military. Because of this, the Special Forces major took a moment to have his soldiers take that flag down, fold it and present it to Barry in their honor. He told Barry to take that flag home and fly it proudly over Fort Hood in honor of those soldiers who lost their lives. It was a moment that I wasn’t expecting and it was extremely touching for all of us to watch. Its quietly touching, just simply watching, how the soldiers handle the flag with so much love and care; how they take down one flag and immediately raise a new flag in its place; how they hold that flag as if it were their baby daughter so delicate and fragile. Seeing how they handle and care for the flag makes you realize just how important the American flag is. It’s a beautiful reminder that the American flag is the centerpiece of everything that every U.S. soldier is does in the military. The sheer patriotism is breath taking.
As much as we’d like to stay with the Special Forces and blow some serious shit up, we have a schedule to keep and a mission of our own to complete. The major came on the bus and personally thanked us, from the bottom of his heart, for taking the time to come see these soldiers, do a performance and brighten up their day. He said he’s been in the Army for 21 years and these soldiers will talk about this moment for the rest of their careers. He also apologized for keeping us so long and said that sometimes the Special Forces unit will confiscate some people and not let them out of their perimeter. That statement was funny yet scary at the same time and all I can say is that I’m glad to be their comrade and not their enemy.
The bus pulled off and we headed over to the soccer stadium that would serve as the venue for tonight’s show. This venue was amazing. It was an old soccer stadium that Saddam Hussein used for his Iraqi Olympic soccer team. Many years ago, on this very field, the Iraqi Olympic soccer team lost their championship game and, in front of a packed stadium, Saddam Hussein lined up the entire team and shot and killed each and every last player because they lost the game. Saddam committed many atrocities like this throughout his years as dictator of this region. When the U.S. military invaded this area they bombed the hell of it and this dilapidated soccer stadium is proof of that. Thankfully this stadium is an outdoor venue and the collapsing ceiling is not an area that we have to work under. The Army has since erected a huge 6-foot high stage with a giant 60’x 100’ American flag as the backdrop of the stage. The sheer magnitude of this backdrop was enough to evoke emotions within all of us that night. The old stadium structures were behind the stage but still perfectly visible. The old concrete stadium benches were all broken and falling apart from the bombing and the ceiling had so many holes in it that you could see the reinforcing bars within the concrete. I took a moment, after sound check, to walk upstairs onto the concrete balcony and stand in the exact area where Saddam Hussein would sit in his throne and watch the games. You can see the exact location where his chair would sit and that seemed like the most fitting place of all to grab a rock and carve my name in the floor and wall. Just imagine, if I had done this 10 years ago, it would have cost me my head. But since Saddam already traded his head for the things he’s done, I figured, no one would care at this point. So I also carved my brother’s name and my girlfriend’s name. HA! Take that Saddam… Kiss my entire ass!!! Although I was puffing my chest a bit while standing up there on that balcony, it did give the chills just thinking that the only staircase leading up to the balcony was obviously the same staircase that Saddam walked up and the spot where I stood was the same spot Saddam stood in when he gave the order to execute his soccer team. The reality of the history of this stadium is a very scary and chilling thing. The hole, in the desert, that our military dug Saddam Hussein out of when they finally captured him was less than a mile from where I stood and the grave that he’s buried in is even closer. That kind of stuff creeps me out. It was these very same soldiers that captured him and helped bring some peace back to this region. All the while, I watched it on CNN from the comforts of my bedroom in New York back in the day. It’s just very intriguing to me to come so close to the artifacts of history.
After I finished carving my name on the wall, we headed from sound check over to the D-FAC for dinner. Steak and Lobster tonight!!! The dining facilities on these bases continue to amaze me. I guess I assumed that the Army serves crappy Army food but thankfully I was pleasantly surprised. I piled my plate with lobster tails and a juicy rib eye steak. We ate as quickly as we could because show time was only an hour away. After dinner I returned back to the stadium and up onto the stage to see Deejay Barry Carew warming up the crowd for Skribbs. There were already a few hundred troops filling in the area near the stage and by the time DJ Skribble armed his weaponry, the stadium field was practically full. Skribble did what he does best and showed off for the crowd. With his arms twisted behind his back and his foot on the crossfader, he did more tricks than they were expecting and he kept them cheering all the way up to the end of his set. At that point KayGee walked onto the stage, like a soldier stepping up to his gun turret. Kay, essentially cocked back his weapon, two turntables, and dropped right into the final set for our USO tour. Warming up the crowd with some good old Michael Jackson classics, he played ABC by the Jackson 5 and then went right into his own original remix of that song called, “O.P.P.“ The troops went crazy as Vin and Treach both made their way out onto the stage and from there came “Uptown Anthem”, “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”, “Jamboree” and eventually and hour later “HipHop Hooray”. The crowd was so excited and the energy was so amazing that none of us wanted to stop, but like all good things it must come to an end eventually. The guys thanked the troops for all that they do and said goodnight. DJ Skribble dropped his own remix to the classic song “Born in The USA” and the troops went absolutely crazy singing along and cheering along with the rest of us. This entire trip was a proud moment for all of us and to stand there, 6 feet over the crowd, in front of a 60-foot high American flag, while 2,000 US Army troops cheer along to “Born in the USA”, that was a moment I will never forget.
After the show, we headed over to the MWR building to take pictures with the 1,000 troops waiting patiently in line to meet the DJ Skribble and Naughty By Nature. About an hour later all the pictures were taken and we were ready to climb on our bus and head back to our fancy Iraqi cribs.
Its pitch black out there in the desert, the military doesn’t allow any beer and there isn’t much to do at our houses but watch some TV. From the ashes of our boredom rose some creativity that you could never duplicate again. As I said before, our group was split amongst two separate houses and our house was not ready to go to sleep. We wanted so badly to film more stuff and our initial idea of shooting a reality show called “Iraqi Cribs” continued from here. As the night went on and our sanity left us, the scenes we shot got better and better. We created an unscripted, short comedy film titled “Soldiers Gone Wild” starring Treach as “Trigger Treach” a shell shocked soldier that lost his marbles along time ago, Johnny as “Sugar Shine” an uptight, pissed off soldier who’s temper snaps at the drop of a dime and D-Square as “Private Wow” who seems to be the only bit of normalcy in their house and really has nothing more to say than “WOW” most of the time. It’s a short film about three soldiers, who live in a house and agree to have their lives taped to see what happens when soldiers stop being normal and just wanna go home. Every scene had us laughing harder than the one before. From the scene with Trigger Treach walking out to get the morning paper in nothing more than his boxers, big chains and combat boots, to Sugar Shine going mad and almost popping a blood vessel after accidentally walking in on Trigger Treach working out while he reads a magazine on the toilet to the two of them getting lost on their way to combat in Afghanistan, this is by far the most hilarious moment of the week. The best part of it all was that each scene was completely unscripted and mostly done in one single take. We had a blast filming it and hopefully I will be able to edit it down into a short 5 or 10-minute bit of comedic relief that is much needed in the military. I’ll post the final edit on YouTube once its complete.
By the time the sun rose over Iraq we were standing on the runway ready to board our last military flight on a C-130 military plane. It was an amazing morning for me because the pilot allowed me to join them in the cockpit for takeoff. To watch the sunrise from there with a headset and microphone made me feel like part of the flight crew. I wasn’t expecting the hilarity of the conversations they have on those headsets. I guess I figured they were all straight and military like but instead they had me laughing my ass off the entire time. I’ve never sat in the cockpit of a plane before, just usually a quick glance on a commercial flight as I board a plane, but this was no regular commercial plane. I was in awe as they let me stand up right next to the pilot and look out the window at the ground below and the sunrise in the distance. What a great way to say farewell to Iraq. The pilots flew us safely back to our original airfield in Kuwait and we climbed off the plane and took pictures with the flight crew.
We left the airfield and piled onto our bus to return back to our original hotel from the beginning of this trip. We managed to arrive at the hotel just in time to enjoy a full-blown presidential breakfast buffet of traditional Kuwaiti cuisine blended with good ol’ American eggs and bacon. After breakfast, I gave into the fact that I’ve been awake for 28 hours straight and I need to get some rest. While Treach and Skribble worked hard on their tans relaxing by the pool for the day, I laid my head down for a few hours only to wake up with a burning desire to finish typing my blog. By 7:30pm we were all in the lobby waiting to go have one last final meal as the USO treated us to a fancy steak dinner at one of Kuwait’s finest steakhouses. We sat there, indulging in great food and conversation, as we reminisced about our Army stories from the greatest week of our lives. Each one of us agreed that if we had the chance to either stay another week or come back and do it again, we’d jump at the opportunity.
Dinner came to an end and we returned to the hotel to grab our bags and load onto the bus one last time in route to the international airport in Kuwait City. We battled our way through the airport and relaxed in the United Airlines business class lounge until it was time board our flight. Skribble was finally able to complete his week long mission of locating McDonalds in this far away land and we all eventually got onboard our flight. We each settled into our seats in business class, ordered a long list of alcohol from the flight attendants and reclined our seats flat to enjoy this ridiculously long flight sound asleep. 14 hours later we arrived in our nations capital and headed to our various gates for our connecting flights home. We saluted each other and hopped onboard our final flights home. Barry flew back to Texas, Naughty By Nature flew back to New Jersey and DJ Skribble, Johnny ‘Sugar” Shine and myself flew back to New York. I picked up my bags from baggage claim and went outside to see one of the greatest things I’ve seen all week, My beautiful lady waiting for me at curbside with her arms wide open and a smile from ear to ear. It feels good to be home but I wonder how she’ll take it when I tell her that we all are dying to go back there again.
All in all… This was the greatest week of my life. Great friends, amazing experiences, humongous weapons and an enormous new respect for every person who has ever served our great country in the military, even if only for a week. You are greater patriots than I’ve ever realized and it is because of you that we have the luxury to see your efforts reported about on CNN from the comforts of our warm cozy living rooms.
For now, I’m out… Gotta go pull down the yellow ribbons my sister tied all over town.
Thank you to DJ Skribble for managing to put this entire trip together, Thank you to Naughty By Nature for allowing me to join them on this experience with them, thank you to the USO for helping me learn what it means to support our troops and lastly, Thank you so very much to the U.S. military for teaching me the true meaning of a patriot and for not making me do any pushups while I was in your Army.
I’M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN.
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS… I know I did.
HoLLeRRRrrrrr…
-Twin aka Vader / The Wonder TwinZ / Naughty By Nature
GIVE IT UP FOR NAUGHTY BY NATURE!!!!!
(QUOTE OF THE WEEK):
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘HOLY SHIT… WHAT A RIDE!!’”
Well yesterday we left Djibouti, Africa and made our way to the Persian. On our way out of Djibouti, we stopped at a local market to do some gift shopping from the local merchants. These guys are true hustlers. As we stepped off the bus, a seven-year-old child who wanted change greeted us. We walked around their market and everyone bought a few things. With the temperature soaring around 115 degrees, we could only bear the heat for a short while. We packed back into the bus and made our way to the airport where we boarded a flight to the Persian.
